By Author Ariel O'Suilleabhain
As snow fell softly in the heart of her yard, and birds the hue of bright cranberries flew by her, Joline watched there and thought about her past. "The past does not really matter Joline," said the deer as he strolled by. Joline smiled and a white diamond tear came to her eye. The crystal treasure fell upon a patch of hardened snow and slid down that and settled upon a frozen leaf there. She dropped to her knees on the spot and at once saw a muddled humming bird house, a ceramic one whose painted on hearts just above a beautiful design of two lovers embraced by love seemed just a touch brighter than usual. She remembered the day she had felt such hope so incredible that she had began to smile at once. She eyed the object before launching a prayer of great spiritual emotion to God. "I don't know what I done wrong," she had started. "But whatever it was, my Lord, my God, please forgive me of it all...and leaving not one detail out of any of it, please send me a man for Christmas. But not just any man, Lord God. No God, this man has to be a man of God, an honest man and not a liar. This man must be a good conscientious man, and not a cheater. Lord God, a man of scruples, love and of knowledge of the heart of ever and eternal the workings of ongoing passion, able to ever embrace the soul of eternal deliverance. "
It was not as if Joline had had the greatest of luck with men, she thought to herself, while at the same time also hoping God understood what she meant, what she was really getting at. But somehow she could not help but feel like it had a whole lot to do with God, fate and making the right choice at the right time. One thing for sure though, all of the inner debate of the heart and all that that she had done gone through in order to come to such a moment. “Well, ne’r the mind,” said Joline out loud. Or maybe, just maybe and just once she granted herself the luxury of knowing that maybe it was the men who were at fault most of the time. This alone had been the pivotal help that had allowed her to stop all of her unfounded self-loathing and start eating the rich hearty, healthy Irish stews and sweetmeats and bakery goods filled with the sweetness of the healing sugar of the angels themselves. After all, Joline certainly had to know that it was not she who had brought on any of the negative things of her past on herself. A good person, a kind and charitable and beloved human being, she always told God sorry as soon as she committed a slight or a wrong to anyone, anywhere at any time. And of such adored of God and a darling creature, such rang always true. An angel on earth indeed, this dear Joline, and as her prayers went up, all of the angels of the heavens looked down upon her flushed and brushed subtle wings gentle and of a greater synchronocity truly, smiled and watched upon her to bring good forth.
"But what was taking God so long," said Joline out loud and as she did she glimpsed there upon her palm of an upturned wing of an angel itself and watched the tiny svelte wren perched there. The small bird peered up at her, shy eyed, her blue eyes smiled at Joline, and this began an immediate goodness as her soul comforted Joline right away. “Heard the call to come and apologize and did not respond, or too lazy or too selfish or all three,” said the voice of the little bird to her about wherever on earth a good man for Joline might on this earth be. Her thoughts went to a painting she now owned., brush strokes adored a portrait of her groom and herself, answered prayer which a year later had now come to pass. Fortunately, heaven had saw past all of that which was not of God and that and as much as a strong Irish man, the great being had reached down and changed it all, and he had made all things brand new for her.
Presently, Joline who had obeyed the heavens and had done all things good right in his eyes should be made to known that she had no reason whatsoever to feel guilt. What had jumped at her from the universe had nothing to do with her. She must know that she had the favor of God and her king loved her still, that she had natural favor and adoration around her always. Once she married herself to obedience born out of love, God gave her this present and better future more wondrous than she owned imagination to create herself.
A man to love her unconditionally just as she was because he saw her heart and her spirit and knew her as a woman of great trust, a woman whose secrets and intimacy of his a given and a stable gift of this life. In the meantime, until he had found her, Christ remained her husband just as he had promised. Little did Joline know though anything about the beautiful miracle which God had suddenly sent her. A greater delight than any gift she had know since the day of her birth, her whole entire life, for after she had finished crying out her rich soul to God for a husband of his dreams for her a man of also virtue and of merit, and a man of rich character as opposed to a thin veneer of empty nothing, Joline remembered the very day on which she had made her way back inside of her house and walking up the ancient wood stairs to her large, cherrywood desk rubbed her hands across the softness she had shined there and wrote a letter to God himself for a miracle of just such a husband as she now had:
December 25, 2016
In all of the insincerity, in all of the lonely space, and as a long list of hours and time went by as I had waited, so patiently waited as he lied and said one thing, but did another, I have realized that I must have a kind, soft-hearted, soft spoken and loving mate of a man of no eternal selfish or self-seeking means. As velvet tears on a pillow fall, you must lift my depression which doth increase the pain of a mind on heartbreak as God, truly you and I both know that it is such sadness that only those whose heart and empty soul so far away from you delight upon. Disappointed at first as I was that I an intelligent woman fell for his godless manipulation, I know it was only because you wanted to set me upon the path of a more loving universe in order that I may truly find the loving soul mate of my real and eternal dreams. This is because I know that what you have for me is more about real love and a more greater pleasure of content and happy wonder. A man whose beautiful and even secret and admired ways would look into the eyes of such an one who has already suffered more than her required earthly assignment of the Christ and choose to do good even though he had also knowledge of the power to do evil to me. Send me a man who when he smiles into my face he means it. Send me a man who uses things and not people, a man with a family who understands and appreciates the warmth of loving Godly sacrifice and of prayer, love and labor – A man who the complete opposite of covert narcissist, refuses to follow an illusion and a people who can commit hideous acts of purposeful hate without guilt. I pray for a man who refuses to follow around empty souls just to get an experience. And thank you God for that other woman for whom I also prayed for whom also suffered something so heinous such as me, which neither words nor description cannot even begin to describe it at this time. There is no excuse or justification for any of this, and yet I cannot wonder if the children whom you refer to during our times of prayer would be cushioned from and would not also have to feel such abandonment, unkindness and rejection such as this. For one then to use another or do such things as those which defy and disobey and even misalign the laws of love, of God and of man and womankind – Send me no more such an one. But send me instead that one whose heart beats loyalty and pure love eternal. Therefore, I pray dear God for you to help me find and also send the love and the encouragement of the very heart of heaven for pure strength for me to go on. Love don't leave me, love please find me when it is the right time for the truly right man, a real husband whom honest and faithful and loyal as I am. And please do not forget dear God that even during this very real search to enamour me of thy faithful love and joy and goodness while you search worldwide for a man who deserves love just as I do, only a match made by heaven.
Sincerely Your Beautiful Child, Joline
Joline closed her eyes and made a threefold-seal of the parchment just as similar to a threefold-chord of holy matrimony and of her desire and placed that treasure on top of a beautiful Christmas card just as she had all of her other Christmas letters to friends, family members and relatives each year prior. She wet a winter Panda Bear stamp, sponged her envelope sticky line and putting on her winter boots set out to mail part and parcel to God. On the drive to the post-office, solid black tires crushed the white snow of hope paved by honest faith and patient love. At the post-office of her small, Irish country town, she pushed out her furry-glove hands which sported pink & red hearts all over and smiled at her friend, postal worker & faithful family man whom had been happy every time she had come for seven years hence. After looking down at the envelope addressed to God, that good man Bernie smiled brightly and Joline honored his kind, Christmas eyes by smiling back. She tucked her white-fur lined red heart gloves on the side of her matching red, figure-cut red wool coat and clicked her black high top, high-heeled black boots together, and said to herself at the door of her auto, "There's no place like real love." She thought she should say it twice. She did.