You lose arguments with inanimate objects
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from
falling off the earth
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive
5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence??
- I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S
a drinking problem!
"Norm!" is what they say when you enter a party.
When you can focus better with one eye closed
the parking lot seems to have moved while you
were in the bar
Every woman you see has an exact twin
If you keep asking your wife "where are the
kids?" but you don't really have a wife. She's really your couch.
Plus you have nothing but beer
You fall off the floor...
Discover liquid cleaning supplies have
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a
burger, screw dinner!
Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore. -
There's a sandwich in every beer
The glass keeps missing your mouth!
When you go to donate blood and they ask what
Vampires catch a buzz after attacking you [also
only drinking problem's not having a drink right
At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is...
Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer
When vomiting becomes a relief!!
Having a hard time staying on the side walk
- left, right stumble fall
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is
in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
Every night you're beginning to find your roomate's
cat more and more attractive.
Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
waking up with a traffic cone between your legs
I'm not drunk... you're just sober... - HI OCIFER!!!!!!!!!
Problem? I Drink, I get Drunk, I Fall down....where's
If you're on a diet, you cut back your food
calories to allow for alcohol calories - realist
The bourbon bottle's empty...that's the problem!
- Hey...let's go get some more!
When the bar owner actually carved your name
onto your own barstool
Roseanne looks good.
Don't recognise wife unless seen through bottom
You LIKE the Barney socks you have on.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
I'm as jober as a sudge!
Mosquitoes spiral down to the ground in circles
after biting you.
You find yourself in a room on a train arriving
in Tiajuana and the last thing you remember is being in a bar
You've fallen and you can't/(don't want to)
When hangovers become an attractive alternative
You listen to the radio and start dancing to
hootie and the blowfish.
Your favorite drink is ethanol.
You can't remember what your family looks like...
or if you have a family.
You spend a whole night holding up walls to
prevent their (your) collapse.