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I had a first cousin called Arthur McBride,
He and I took a stroll down by the seaside,
A-seeking good fortune and what might betide,
It being on Christmas morning.
And then after resting we both took a tramp,
We met Seargent Pepper and Corporal Cramp,
Besides the wee drummer who beat up for camp,
With hi rowdy dow-dow in the morning.
He says my good fellows, if you will enlist,
A Guinea you quickly shall have in your fist,
Besides a crown for to kick up the dust,
And drink the king's health in the morning.
Had we been such fools as to take the advance,
The wee bitter morning we had run to chance,
For you'd think it no scruple to send us to France,
Where we would be killed in the morning.
He says My young fellows, if I hear but one word,
I instantly now will out with my sword,
And into your bodies as strength will afford,
So now, my gay devils take warning.
But Arthur and I we took in the odds,
We gave them no chance to lunge out their swords,
Our whacking shillelaghs came over their heads,
And paid them right smart in the morning.
As for the wee drummer, we rifled his pouch,
And we made a football of his rowdy dow-dow,
And into the ocean to rock and to row,
And bade him a tedious retuning.
As for the old rapier that hung by his side,
We flung it as far as we could in the tide,
To the devil I bid you, says Arthur McBride,
To temper your steel in the morning.