I’ll Stop Tomorrow

by Paul Campbell

Nothing good starts to happen for the alcoholic drinker until they accept they have a problem and are ready to do something about it. That’s the first step in their recovery. Learning to live without the crutch of alcohol will be difficult; trust me-I know! It’s not just, however, about their relationship with alcohol.

Recovery requires them to examine their relationship with themselves and then with others. Alcoholics need to embrace that dreaded word- change. I’m not advocating immediate and dramatic change, (other than putting down the drink). I’m suggesting changing an alcoholic lifestyle for a new way of living. Primarily this involves a new way of relating to people. Relationships are the first thing to crash around alcoholics but they are also the first thing to improve and benefit from someone on a programme of recovery. To stay sober we need to stay in recovery. To stay in recovery means on-going change in how we relate to the world. It’s demanding and in the early days fairly tiring, but I promise you it’s really worth it.

Let me explain it like this. Over a couple of months the alcoholic moves from chaotic drinking to on going recovery. During this period they will need to reprogram every aspect of their lives. Put simply, if you’re an alcoholic trying for recovery and you don’t change fundamentally then the old you will drink again, that’s for certain!

Why is the recovery programme so tiring? Mainly because the recovering alcoholic needs to scrutinise every thought or action, big or small. The behaviour and thinking ingrained in the alcoholic from a lifetime of drinking will need to be continuously monitored. The kind of things to look out for are any kind of excessive or powerful emotion such as, resentments (the worst) anger, self pity, loneliness and mistrust. In my own early days of recovery I well remember being hyper-sensitive and ultra defensive about practically everything. On a practical level there are things folks in recovery need to avoid like the plague. Regardless of how confident you feel, do not go into pubs / bars for two years. Try and not have alcohol in your home for six months. If you are having a dinner party, get rid of the booze immediately afterwards. Avoid heavy drinking friends and events. At social functions always have an escape route to leave early if you’re feeling ‘edgy’. Take extra care if you’re staying overnight in a hotel or on holidays. Avoid major life altering decisions for two years. Give yourself a fighting chance – go to AA, or a Treatment Centre or see an Addiction Counsellor.

Recently I was asked “what’s the best thing about being sober?” The question made me think but the answer was easy: I wake up every morning and I usually feel good about myself. I’m not a saint by any means but these days I don’t mess up other peoples lives or my own. I and those around me have a happy, calm and contented life. ‘Calm’ would not be a word ever used to describe the home / family life of an active alcoholic.

What I have today is what every recovering alcoholic and their family can enjoy as a part of their recovery programme.

Paul Campbell is the author of the number one best-seller “I’ll Stop Tomorrow" Once one of Dublin's most dynamic and successful businessmen. He had a loving family and lived in a beautiful home. Yet in only three months he lost it all. He found himself living alone in a bedsit. He had lost his family, his business, his home and had nothing to look forward to in life. Why? Because he was an alcoholic and alcohol had taken control of his life.