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Spirit of the Tournament

As well as there being a multitude of competitions this year offering teams a chance to win a medal, this year we will be awarding a trophy to the team that truly represents the Spirit of the Asian Gaelic Games. You may not have the flashest gear, or display the finest touch, or possess much in the way in athleticism but you may epitomise the spirt of the tournament by simply making the effort to get to Hong Kong, participating in all nightly events, fancy dress, singing, partying, playing football in a spirited way. This perhaps should have gone to Beijing last year who sang partied and probably played more football than any other side, much to their angst, but earned huge respect along the way. Or what about the Hong Kong ladies, who despite losing by a sudden death point in the final against Japan, managed to hold the tears back and entertain the crowd with a rendition of the Siege of Ennis.

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Water, plenty of it...

This year's official water sponsor is Watson's Water and we are extremely grateful for their support. A special mention to Pat Foy for arranging this.

There'll be plenty of Watson's Water (with minerals added) at all venues and players are advised to try stay well hydrated each day. Players are also advised to supplement water intake with isotonic drinks and rehydration salts. On this note, we should add that Hong Kong has a very high UV rate and players are reminded to plenty of sun cream.

Official Ball Sponsor

This year the official ball sponsor will be Gaelic Gear. All knock out matches will be played with Gaelic Gear match footballs. If you haven't played with one before, don't worry, they're the same weight and dimensions as any other gaelic match football you may have played with before and are fully licensed by the GAA. Internationally, Gaelic Gear is also now the recognised provider of GAA products to the Australasian and North American boards and has recently been appointed official supplier to the British Universities GAA. More details of Gaelic Gear can be found at www.gaelicgear.com

Bring your hurls...

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Group Structure / Seedings - All Provisional

There still remains one week until the IrishAbroad.com Asian Gaelic Football Sevens, but behind the scenes 12 clubs have been locked in negotiations over group structure, format and the all important seedings. One clear conclusion is that this year's competition will be the toughest yet, with no easy draws in either the Ladies or Men's competitions. Further, there'll be no place for the big guns to hide and a tough group may see some of them stumble early on.

Ladies
The Ladies competition will consist of 2 groups of 5 teams. The top two teams will qualify for the Cup Semi Final, the 3rd and 4th place teams will qualify for the Plate Semi Final and the teams coming 5th in each group will qualify for the Bowl Final. The draws for the semi finals will be winners Group A playing runners up in Group B and vice versa and the same format for the Plate Competition. In the draw for the Group, no club can have two teams in the same group (the same will apply for the men. Teams will play four games on Saturday (9am until 3pm).

And the seedings are:
Seeded 1:- Japan A, Hong Kong Wanchai, Singapore Dubliner and Korea A
Seeded 2:- Beijing Banshees, Taiwan Celts
Seeded 3:- Japan B, Hong Kong Stanley, Singapore Mollys and Korea B

Men
At the moment, we are working of a number of 20 teams for the Mens Competition. The men will be divided into 5 groups of 4. The winners of each group will qualify for the Cup Quarter Finals, as will the best runners up from the 5 groups. The remaining 4 runners up will play off on early Saturday afternoon for a place in the Cup Quarter Finals. This will decide the teams ranked 1-8. Teams ranked 9 to 16 after the group stages will enter the "B"Competition. Teams ranked 17 to 20 will enter the Bowl Competition. The "A" & "B" cup quarter finals will be played on Saturday afternoon, with the winners progressing to the semi finals and the losers entering their respective "A" & "B" plate semi finals. What it means is that everyone will be in a semi final come Sunday, unless they bribe the organisers. Teams will play a minimum of three games on Saturday, perhaps 4 or even 5 and at least one game on Sunday.

And the seedings are:
Seeded 1:- Korea A, Japan A, Hong Kong Island, Singapore A, Korea B
Seeded 2:- Dubai, Na Geanna, Hong Kong Aussie Dragons A, Taiwan Celts, Shanghai Saints
Seeded 3:- Hong Kong Kowloon, Japan B, Beijing, Shenzhen, Singapore B
Seeded 4:- Japan C, Hong Kong Lamma, Thailand Rovers, Dubai B, Hong Kong Aussie Dragons B.

After the group stages teams will be ranked 1 to 8 based on their points tally and goals and points difference. For the knockout stages teams will be play each other as follows:- 1-v-8 (A), 2-v-7 (B), 3-v-6 (C), 4-v-5 (D). For the semis of both the Cup and the Plate (same format will also apply to B Competition and the Bowl semi finals), A will play D and B will play C. For the final, the winners of A&D will play the winners of B&C. The losers of these games will be out of the competition.

The Betting (of course this is totally illegal in HK)
Ladies
Japan A 6/4
Hong Kong Wanchai / Korea A 3/1
Singapore 7/2
Beijing 8/1
Taiwan 9/1
Japan B 18/1
Hong Kong B 20/1
Singapore B / Korea B 25/1

Men
Korea A 6/4
Japan A 3/1
Singapore Dubliners 4/1
Hong Kong Island 6/1
Korea B 8/1
Dubai A / HK Dragons / Na Geanna 9/1
Taiwan 12/1
Shanghai 14/1
Hong Kong Kowloon / Lamma 18/1
Japan B / Beijing 20/1
Singapore Mollys / Shenzhen 25/1
Japan C / Thailand / Dubai B / Dragons B 40/1

To Capture the Toucan
Shanghai Evens (to retain the Toucan)
Hong Kong 6/4
Dubai 3/1
Beijing 5/1
Aussie Dragons 8/1
Japan 16/1
Korea 20/1
Taiwan 33/1
Singapore 40/1
Shenzhen 50/1
Thailand 66/1
All bets will be cancelled and money refunded and Shanghai deducted 2 points for unsporting behaviour if Toucan fails to make the trip to Hong Kong - Bird Flu will not be considered an acceptable excuse.

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More Questions that are frequently asked...

Getting from the Airport - how do we do that ?
If you are travelling in a group of 20 or more, the cheapest option would be to hire a coach - you can contact ATS travel agents who can assist. A coach from the airport will take up to an hour. The fastest way is the Airport Express Train - takes about 20 minutes and costs about US$12 one way. From Central, there is a bus link to your hotel, but you can share a cab, which will cost no more than US$5 per cab.

How do we get back to the Airport ?
Eh follow the breadcrumbs, no seriously - tell the cab driver, Airport Express Central. You'll need to be there no later than about 80 minutes before your flight.

Where do we meet for the golf on Friday ?
Buses depart from Delaney's where breakfast is served. Busses leave at 8.30am
What time will we get back from the golf ?
Should have you back at your hotel by 7pm.
Pool Party, what time and where ?
Tell the taxi driver "Hong Kong Yacht Club Causeway Bay". It kicks off from 8pm, food served for the first hour. A taxi from Wanchai will take less than 10 minutes.

What should I bring ?
Clubs are reminded that the HKGAA or Yacht Club accepts no responsibility for anyone mysteriously falling into the pool, damage to any electronic equipment, or causing your new polo shirts to run in the water. If you have cameras or mobiles - keep them away from the pool or keep yourself away from the pool. Players are asked to refrain from using mobile phones, it's a members club. Also players and guests are asked not to throw any food or beverage into the pool - otherwise we'll be hit with an almighty bill. Towels will be provided at the venue. You must bring your player pass. Beverages may be purchased using vouchers which are available on the night.

Will the beer be expensive on Friday night ?
Nah - club prices - US$2 - US$3.
Will there be Guinness ?
Yes all the way from Ireland especially for the Asian Games and Delaney's 10 Anniversary Party, a 10 day Party that starts on the Friday night of the Games. The Guinness has arrived, has been tested, and confirmed as good as the stuff back in Ireland.

How will we know where we are playing on Saturday ?
After the draw on Friday night - teams will be assigned to each venue on the following day. Details of the draw will also be posted in your hotel that evening. Expect that your first game will be between 8.30am and 10am the following morning (what ?)

What if we turn up late ?
Walkover !
What happens after we finish at our respective ground ?
Get the bus to Aberdeen, unless you are in Aberdeen already.
How do I get to the venue on Saturday Night ?
Get a taxi to Lan Kwai Fong and the bar is on Lan Kwai Fong - follow the noise. There's about 40 bars within a 100 metre block and it's somewhere in there. If you get lost - look up in the air and you'll see a huge sign saying "LOST" underneath it will be for one night only "An Poc Fada" - we're not kidding.

Will the beer be expensive on Saturday Night ?
Happy hour up until 10pm - after that draw your own conclusions. There are 7 hundred and 11 ways to get cheap beer in Lan Kwai Fong. Partying on the street is acceptable, in fact it's the norm.

How will we know what time we are playing on Sunday ?
By Saturday 6pm, all will become clear.
What if we turn up late on Sunday for our Game ?
You're out.
Will the beer be expensive at the ground?
Same as last year - about US$3 a pint.

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Singapore Team

The 2004 Singapore Gaelic Lionesses
Abbie "The Stretcher Turner"
Abbie is a newbie to Gaelic football - hailing from the UK she shows nursing skills as well as her rub down Physio specialty, setting up clinics in the BQ's, Dubliner, etc. Running up and down the pitch/ track or bar after the lads and giving them a rub does not constitute training. Lets hope the lads aren't faking it in the hope of Abbie's magic touch.

Adeline "The Animal" Lim
Ads plays touch, netball, champagne bottles you name it she plays it. The most feared person on the Singapore team and that's not just the ladies. She has been known to make Gareth cry if not the grown men. A natural footballer and sportswoman. A master at tackling. A founder member of the boozy brunch babes. Burns the candle so much its in a puddle and the wicker is flickering. A valuable asset to the team despite her liking for vodka and snoozing on the bar

Aileen "your a lady" Lane
This Limerick Lady is PRO for the club, God love her! A job perfect for a social butterfly, she knows every bar manager in town. She came close to taking the ladies day prize at the races in her fabulous pink make over but was just pipped at the post. that wont happen in football she's a great defender both on and off the pitch. A salsa queen but she will dance to anything anywhere, though she has been known to cause the odd obstruction down the track.

Alanah "The Shot" Crossen
The wittiest and razor sharp leader of the bar top dance troupe. It's shots over the bar we are looking for not shots in the bar. Work is a killer it always gets in the way of real life / training but it never stops her enjoying the club socials. Another newbie to the game despite her Nigeria/ Kenya/ Irish /Singapore/USA travels, she's back to singers for a performance with the Gaelic Lionesses. Unfortunately yet again, work calls and Alanah cannot join us in HK. She will be sadly missed.

Bleed'n Belinda Gaynor
Competition is so fierce for the goalies position this year that it came to blows and blood followed by stitches. The other one swears she tripped over. After 5 minutes attention from the "stretcher", Cormac, and 5 stitches, she was down the pub regaling us with the feel up she got from the doctor. Loves Karaoke and anything that involves not going home early, yet another one of the boozy brunching babes. Top class keeper, champagne bottle at each post. Rumored to be from the hills of Sligo.

Belle "the Pins" Lim
This Philippina lady although new to the game and Irish ways, has assimilated in to the team comfortably. Her "working" relationship with the coach has not influenced his decision to pick her for the team. Whilst Bainisteoir may be arranging for hand injuries during training, Belle will not be deterred from picking out his mistakes. An advocate of acupuncture, her shooting skills are expected to inject scores at HK.

Caroline "Xena" Butler
Another founder member of the boozy brunching babes. This warrior from Tipp is more comfortable with a hurley in her hand. She is disgusted she can't use it during play. Decked in her bustier, this Singapore Xena is all set for battle in the midfields of HK. Equipped with underarm bug spray for added protection against the marauding opposition. All she needs now is to be pointed at the right goals and we're sorted.

Caryn "The knee" Chan
A serious injury on the rugby pitch was rumored, though we have been reliably informed it was actually a tumble from the bar in BQ's. The injury has only slowed her pace slightly she was last seen in Muddy's attempting to get up on the bar. Un fortunately unable to join us in HK "due to injury". Ardent social supporter of the club, good luck with the recovery and see you at training / the bar next year.

Clare "Mammy Paparazzi" Connolly
This rebel never shys away from a tackle, she brings a sewing kit to stitch up her casualties. Just stop injuring your own team! Mammy spent the season "injured", but still gets into weird positions for the best shot of the team. Captain again this year and throwing her weight around on the web as well as between the posts. So keen to recruit new players she has been picking women up at dinners, bar toilets and even prowling the lonely heart websites!

Denise "legs" Coakley
Secretly passing on ALL her tips to the wan from the web. The gruesome twosome's sharp tongues have bettered every man in the club. Legs legs have taken her round Bukit Timah, McRitche, Phuket and Hong Kong and she is still running. A veteran of the club, her skills in midfield will shine through yet again this year. No spotting talent on the side line this time, keep your eye on the ball. Currently promoting drive through McD's in a cab - classy bird!

Denise "Run Rabbit Run" Glennon
Bosco isn't sure whether she's training for a triathlon, the Beijing Olympics or the Hong Kong 7's. But don't be fooled there's no-one brave enough to pull her strings! Known for her fierce defense, and creative fouling both off and on the pitch. She's even scared her poor fella off the team. Last seen running over Shears Bridge looking for her toe nails.

Eithne "The Hair" Lenihan
The social queen of the team, always turning up for club nights, with new and amazing hair styles. Rarely seen down the pitch, after kitting herself out with all the gear , decided she preferred standing at or on the bar, rather than under it. Will be a great supported out in HK, lets hope she makes down to the side line before the end of the games....

Janet "The Ripper" Hedges
Carries her ball everywhere, soloing up and down the MRT. A brief appearance as a Goal keeper last year until she asked "is it the same score if the ball goes under the bar as over". Taking training very seriously this year, she's even rumored to be off the bottle. Last seen in the four floors at 4 am swigging vodka. She even strong armed the boyfriend in to special training sessions, for unfair advantage. Main aim - Not to sleep with the captain, any captain!. One of the Vietnamese boat people

Justine "Champagne" Williams
"No pour, No Pay", is this ladies motto. The original boozy brunching babe. This years classy bird. Permanently dedicated to Champagne training, rarely seen down the pitch. Her predilection to the bubbly has little effect on her ball skills, which will be much appreciated in HK should she escape the clutches of the Moet bottle and Karaoke bar. Legendary for her flatulence even to herself.

Kim "Kebbaie" James
This AGG veteran is legendary for her past performances. Babs for breakie, the Lions cringe in awe at the mention of the two. Despite making the odd exclusive appearance at training, great things are expected again. She may be distracted from the Kebabs by her prince. Better not distract her on the pitch. Remember abstinence at least 24 hours before the game and were not taking about the kebabies.

Linda "Hot stuff" Lee
A bit of an unknown quantity this newbie has settled in nicely to the training both at the pitch and in the bar. Hot stuff already - she tries to skive out of the warm up laps. One of the VIP gang with back stage passes - well every pub in town. Just keep focused on the scoring on the pitch in HK.

Lucinda "web wan" Rand
The web rescue! Saved from the lonely hearts club of the expat message board. A good catch!! This doc couldn't stitch to save her life, she's more comfortable with beakers of veggie tiger beer while plotting to take over the world with Legs. Keen interest in coaching tactics, just keep your eyes open when the ball is coming in. Converted from Spurs to Tipp GAA. God love her. She'll see sense yet.

Lucy "hey ref" Meehan
She landed on singers soil donned her boots and straight to training. Amazing dedication and great skill to boot! Though she has a problem recognising the team with their clothes on, that could be a problem! She tells us we are playing some alien version of GAA "Do ye really know the rules?" A natural footballer and the future of the lioness for years to come. Recentley joined the bartop dance truope.

Maggie "glamour" Chan
Another newbie to the sport this lady is a native singer. Soloing comes naturally. Another one you wouldn't recognise with her clothes on! Glamour puss. Unfortunately recovering from injury this year so we will miss her talents on the pitch but she will lead the cheerleaders instead. She is already preparing for a star performance in the '05 season of SGL Idol.

Maria "Planner I" McGeorge
Jamsie O'Connor from Clare was a little careless in her planning again this year. She is now preparing for the arrival of the next generation of Gaelic Lions to join last years arrival Ronan. She will be sadly missed in HK. A strong social supporter, its never too late to book a flight to HK! We are eagerly anticipating her return for the '05 season

Martine "eyeball" Nolan
The diving dub, 70's style chick and all round sports woman has been making great efforts to improve her skills this year, rumored to have tried soloing under water! Fit as a fiddle, running, horseriding, night diving....and football she has been known to get an eyeful of the ball. She wouldn't be caught dead without her bandana to terrify the opposition. A quick trip to Japan to check out the opposition and we're off.

Mary "Minge" Roche
Barry Carigtohill's loss, Singapore's gain, we think? An traenála record holder for number of nights on the tear while An Bainisteoir was on tour. Rochie is inspiring us again his year, her specialty is the double bottle cocktail, doesn't have the swallowing, she has the puking perfected. Top class player, trainer and motivator, she has the ability to play in all positions simultaneously, especially midfield. Still inclined to drop the lamh, even with the new personalised gloves.

Mellissa "Knickers" Webster
This petite aussie rules player specalises in goal hanging and lace. An entrepreneur with a penchant for lingerie. Sure to have some spectacular matching sets and set pieces in HK watch out for the hand stands/ dives. A fierce recruiter this year, she dragged all her friends and enemies down to try out, plied them with drink and they haven't sobered enough to realise what they are getting into. Plagued with injury we are sure she will be fighting fit and have sharpened her studs for the games

Natalie "Wiggler" Prince
One of The Knickers recruits and her sister to boot. Nats plays hockey, tennis, travel agent, shopping center manger, Singapore pop idol. All rounder. Has even taken up and mastered hurling. She arrives at 3am to get the party started, singing unknown aussie songs. Joined the bartop dance troupe and is leaving them all standing with her wiggle.

Rebecca "Planner II" Brady
One of the very first SG Lionesses (way back in '99 before she got distracted by Will). The last two years her planning has been way off. Last year Caleb arrived this year his little sister is on her way. At least they are working on the next generation of SGL's. We will appreciate both Becks and Caleb's cheerleading in HK. Got to work on that planning for '05!

Sheelagh "Fetish" Laing
Fat fish my eye! We know it was "Fetish". Her sojourn in Singapore was brief but she left her mark on more than one of the players. Thanks to Taiwan for training her in, a great player but unfortunately she is back to bonnie Scotland plumbing. Last seen down in B&Q (not BQ's) looking for monkey wrenches. She will be sorely missed. you are always welcome for a return visit.

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The 2004 Singapore Gaelic Lions

Aidan Healy
Has caused more mayhem off the pitch than on it, and more's the pity. Has left more than one young lassie bitched, bollixed and bewildered as he has hauled them across pubs and clubs to introduce to another thoroughly embarrassed Gaelic Lion. Pop-culture references tend to pass Aidan by though. Thought being called Bling Bling (owing to his grotesque array of shiny Mr T jewellery) was a compliment. Bless.

Alan Power
Asked if he could avoid all training this year, and perhaps just turn up for the weekend itself, citing the success of this strategy in previous years. A fair point, but request denied. Also tried to block-book hotel so entire family could make the trip this year. The PLA got suspicious though, so no go there. Was defamed last year, and demanded editorial control over the 'langers' doing pen-pics. Quite rightly.

Andrew Conley
Was never the same after hero Johnny Cash went to the Ring of Fire in the sky. The Man in Black's mood was not helped by handing over control of the website. Handsome decent Lions trussed up in leather in suggestive poses with well-hung lady-boys on the site have been coming forward with suggestions. Photos are currently being doctored for Andrew's own Boy Named Sue section of the site. Watch this space.

Bill Nikolopoulos
None of your namby-pamby big-Jessie 'rather have a marmite sambo than get kicked in the head' football from this wombat. Bill was not best pleased to learn that the simple matter of grabbing someone by the neck, hauling him to the ground and giving a solid dig to the head for good measure is illegal in Gaelic. A poof's game, he said. Was happy to discover this procedure is illegal only if seen by the referee.

Brendan Wisely
Another toe-rag consultant (see Paul Prendergast below). Part of the undercover 'Lovely Leitrim' contingent trying to take over and destroy Singapore from within. Since Messrs Wisely and Ward account for 4% of the population of Leitrim, this is no idle threat. We may well be surrounded. First Singapore, then Southeast Asia, and then the push across Europe into Roscommon. The soil there is 'mighty', apparently.

Brian Kennedy
Kindly sponsored by The Dubliner this year, since Mark figured he'd get more value from Brian than the other 80-odd members put together. He was right. In an effort to get 'fit', a clearly inebriated Brian has often spoken of his desire to become more discerning about his drinking haunts. Quit heading to the hawker centre for a few Tigers on the way to work sometime in mid-July. And it showed. We think.

Bryan McSwiney
The coaches were seen suggesting to Bryan early in the season that he perhaps use his right leg for more than just standing on and kicking the full back. Only a suggestion mind. Also advised by the great unwashed of the selection committee that it's tough going to slot one over from the corner flag. Cryptically kept saying 'no angle is too tight lads, no angle is too tight'. We just pray he was talking about the football.

Cormac O'Muircheartaigh
Was (allegedly) out-scored by the Dub at HK2003, so Lola sought to play up his links with the Westies gang from Blanch in an effort to intimidate the selection committee. He made the team, just. Scary knowledge of Right Said Fred hits and fondness for impersonating Michael Flatley generated natural suspicion among the old guard. Made a point of sending compiler of pen-pics correct spelling of Galáctico...

David Slattery
Failed to learn the lessons from Gareth O'Brien's torrid and fruitless two-year foray into the world of ladies coaching. Can't say he wasn't warned. Earned the opprobrium of the Lionnesses by doing even less running than Ger, but more shouting. Overheard asking Matlock Morgan about the new IOC ruling on transsexuals, but will save his debut for the ladies team until HK2005, medical advances permitting.

Dennis Collins
Frightened all with comments early in the season of wearing a leather frock while going commando. Declined to threaten Korean forwards with same outfit. Says he attended HK2003, but wasn't spotted by any of the travelling party. Some speculation that he got married to a snake-head by accident. Said something about liking tattoos, and danger. Will be kept well away from beer buddy Kim this year.

Donnacha Rahill
We should have expected nothing less from the latest in a very long line of Dubs to add 'colour' to the club. Sheepishly kept saying you can't expect a 40-year-old to play ball, for the love of God. Then proceeded to hare across for a breaking ball, sell a few dummies to a few of our dummies and knock one over. Has played senior club football in Dublin, but should cope with the step-up in quality.

Gareth O'Brien
Another bad year. Thought taking a step back from coaching role would help with the ladies. Thought wrong. Still wants all the bad things to go away, can't type to save his life, and fails to see the link between his participation with the club and the failure to win anything for five years. Knowing shag-all about hurling didn't stop him wearing a skin-tight Cork jersey to annoy Tipp's own D Slattery. In a word: grim.

Ger Barry
One of the braver club members almost committed hari-kari in The Dubliner by noting that Ger has more bitches than he knows what to do with. The clarification ' that this referred to assistant (male) coaches ' came not a minute too soon. There's no justice like mob justice, and with the ladies, it's usually swift and merciless, as Ger 'GBH' Barry knows only too well. Referees, you have been warned'

Ger Brogan
Slyly horsed beer into him during warm-ups to avoid playing ball on Sentosa, until it was pointed out that getting through a skip of beer never stopped Sean Duggan and Brian Kennedy training. And half the ladies team for that matter ' the Sunday brunches have been noted girls. Ger took a strange liking to his Xbox half way through the season and is now officially allergic to sunlight.

Hugh Smiddy
Known among newer members as 'the guy with the shirt'. Despite a notoriously patchy record on the fashion front, even club veterans were aghast at the ensemble Hugh put together one night down in Molly's. Parents averted their children's eyes. Old trishaw riders who've seen it all just wept. One sensitive member described it as 'a cry for help' and suggested we never speak of it again. Some chance Hugh.

Jason Jolly
California's finest, swaggering John Wayne Jolly came to Singapore to escape a past he'd just as soon forget and just move on with his life. The Quiet Man was clearly upset the Lions didn't engage in mass brawls down Orchard Road of a Sunday after training and actively encourage bitch-slapping of the women-folk. Won love and admiration from all for drawing blood from team 'beautiful' in the Blitz.

Kevin Morgan
Self-styled captain fantastic and leader with a purpose. Offered sweets and access to his black book of numbers for a glowing tribute here. Offer was declined on health grounds. Had club members scrambling for towels in the shower after announcing that 'just because you like kissing and cuddling a guy doesn't make you gay'. Had to be warned that rubbing own nipples does not constitute a warm-up (for football).

Laurence Kearney
Aggressively denied allegations he was spotted sighing wistfully at Hugh Smiddy's shirt (aka, the cry for help) that night in Molly's ' almost went Full Metal Jacket on us. Agreed without demure that no-one likes the name Laurence. Said while it allegedly sounds like royalty, he most certainly is not, nor does his name imply that he might be a sailor in his spare time. He works for a bank, so there.

Mark Riordan
Implicated heavily in the Riordan-gate scandal. Saw nothing inappropriate in attending a few training sessions, riding off into the sunset with one of the lovely Lionesses, and never coming down again. Shoddy. Committee decided that single men will have to pay a hefty deposit in future before setting sights on the ladies, and must sign an oath to respect the chastity and purity of the Lionesses ' no seriously.

Neil Steffensen
Another bitter and disillusioned Aussie Rules player, upset at excelling at a sport played only by a tiny fraction of the world's populace. So he took up Gaelic football. Too many knocks to the head, someone (Kevin) suggested. Won hearts and minds of club members by actually taking an interest in training sessions. True to Aussie form, only really gets going at the smell of blood (someone else's, preferably).

Padraig Reidy
Failed to grasp even the very basics of club politics, and was seen making friends with at least one member from each of the 42 major sub-factions within the club. Was nominated by all 239 major sub-cliques as chief waterboy and orange cutter for HK2004. Some people just insist on learning the hard way. The Reuters chap gave media types a bad name by being spotted buying a round in Molly's. Just once mind.

Paul Prendergast
For some reason, took umbrage at the notion that all Meath footballers are thoroughbred muck-savages. Self-delusion aside, Paul proved to be a fairly decent and honest human being, despite his background as a money-grabbing management consultant. It was reckoned that once the club went down-market and started letting Aussies and lawyers join, the consultants couldn't be kept out any longer.

Peter Kingston
Took one look at a Wednesday training session and hacked into his knee-cap with a butcher's knife to avoid the misery. Says it happened at soccer (ay right Peter). In fairness, the decision looked wiser as the season progressed. Liked to point out that Jesus also wore sandals and had a beard, but was stumped at the suggestion that even Jesus and his first 12 wouldn't have had a chance against Korea A in such attire.

Peter Sheridan
Never allows truth or accuracy to get in the way of a good story. Has been top scorer at Asian GAA 7s every year since the early 1960s, according to the man himself. Was sacked from pen-pics team in 2003 for failing to adhere to collective responsibility rule (see Alan Power above). Has been seen consulting with Dr Cormac to find an ailment he hasn't declared in previous tournaments as excuse for missing sitters.

Sean Duggan
Went ballistic that the club wasn't taking training seriously enough. Demanded 20km runs at 5:30am down the Botanic Gardens on Sunday mornings. Said anyone not fully committed should be shot, and sought a ban on alcohol from May. Was overheard calling the coaches 'a bunch of muppets' and said he could teach those young punks from Korea a thing or two. Wears 'fail to prepare, prepare to fail' tattoo with pride.

Sean O'Shea
A chap still infused with the zeal of youth. Of the view that it's still possible to get drunk and be a success with the ladies on the same night. So much to learn. So little time. Says he's from Kerry, but speaks (a form of) English, so we're not sure. Has been known to fake injuries to avoid playing. Club had to set up 'widows, orphans and Kerrymen' fund after Sean turned up to football training in sandals. Honest.

Stevie Keane
Sought a more 'presidential air' this year, on grounds of being fed up dealing with the riff-raff. Says he's 28, but some still have doubts, especially since the pen-pics from Phuket 2000 put his age at, eh, 28. Whatever. Retained frankly bizarre set of colourful attire for training; had the volleyball girls on Sentosa scurrying for cover. Was told (tactfully) that this is a family club, and has since ditched the scratching.

Tim Marshall
Tim broke down late in the season and confessed he had no idea that volunteering to help Clare 'Paparazzi' Connolly with the website would be a 24-7 position. 'She and her kind killed Lady Di' he sobbed, 'and now she's after me'. Strong words. Complained, with some justification, that 18 hours a day on the website made it tough to attend training, not to mention work, sleep, eat and other ancillary activities.

Will Brady
Superman thought everyone would take him seriously now he's a dad and wears glasses. Still likes to inflict pain; training conditions were compared to those at Abu Ghraib jail - luckily the committee turned down his proposal to purchase two dozen dog collars, on the grounds of decency and taste. Attempts to hijack selection committee (again) were all too clear when Will nominated young Caleb for full forward.

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A word of appreciation...

Only one week away, it is hard to believe that the 9th Asian Gaelic Games has come around again. It has been a mammoth effort by all involved and a small word of thanks to the various clubs around Asia and their committees for getting teams to Hong Kong next weekend. Also a huge thank you to our sponsors IrishAbroad.com and in particular Myriam Hooper, who have shown a tremendous level support in recent months through the newsletters and PA. What has been done, could not be done without them. Also a thank you to all our other sponsors who have contributed very generously to this event.

Lastly, would like to take this opportunity now to say thanks to some folk, where generally the only appreciation they get is a self-pat on the back and a low budget thank you meal sometime in January. If you see these guys over the weekend, do buy them a drink and say thanks. They have put in endless amounts of hours of effort in putting this altogether - and have done this at the same time as trying to play / run a club /coach / and hold down a day job/ be a husband, wife or father (well some of them)

The HK Organising Committee:-
Michael Lacy, Katrina Williams Tom Howells, Paddy Jolliffe, Joanne Wilson, Serena Grimes, Michelle McInerney, Bill Byrne, Pat Foy, Fergal Power, John Hayes, Kayte Candy, Ronan Collins.

Also a big thanks to Peter Ryan in Dublin for his efforts and support throughout the year -not sure how he does it year after year, but fair play to ya...

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Connecting players and connecting venues……

Memories of last year at 8.30am on Saturday morning

Tired and emotional player : Where am I playing and how do I get there ?
Games Volunteer: Team ?
Tired and emotional player : the C team
Games Volunteer: that explains the hangover, which country ?
Tired and emotional player : eh, ***** (censored but he was wearing a silly red and white Paddington Bear style hat)
Games Volunteer: ok, going to Stanley Ho Stadium, get on the 2nd bus now, you'll be collected at 1pm and taken to Aberdeen after your last game this morning

Well that piece of Greek magic worked a treat last year, except for the entire Japan B team getting lost somewhere on the Island, much to the amusement of the few HK players who were also on the bus and quipped "we've decided to go one better and kidnap an entire team".

Logistics last year were tough, 21 teams, 250 players, 1 hotel, 2 venues. This year, they are an absolute nightmare. 30 teams, 400 players, 2 hotels, 3 venues. But stay calm, so long as you are ready to depart your hotel on time, there should be a bus going where you want to go. If you're late, check your cheat sheet in your player pack, it will have the address of your venue on it - you might need it to get a taxi. Which venue you ask - a full list of fixtures will be available at both hotels each morning.

This year, the logistical nightmare that is bussing 400 players around has been kindly sponsored by Links Relocations, a global relocation services provider. Their website is www.linksrelocations.com . So if you need to move anywhere in Asia soon, give them a shout and mention the Asian Gaelic Football Sevens.

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