Once Again, They’re Lifeless

Irish Voice Entertainment

Once Again, They’re Lifeless

November 15, 2007

By Mike Farragher

IN the spirit of full disclosure in journalism, I must confess to a newfound appreciation of Justin Timberlake. That gawky, brillo-haired pop tart from ‘NSYNC that got on your last nerve has reinvented himself as one of the most innovative pop stars of this generation.

He could have plodded along, sharing the spotlight with his then-girlfriend Britney Spears and keeping his head low within the ranks of his band. Instead, he traded up in the female department (first with Cameron Diaz, and now Jessica Biel) and injected elements of rock and hip-hop into his artistry. You may love or hate him, but he did bring sexy back by testing new waters.

Irish boyband Westlife, on the other hand, paddles around in the same old stagnant pond on Back Home, their new release.

Their press machine is trying to position the band’s “transformation” from boy band to adult contemporary “artiste” with this new release. Please!

The harmonies, cloying piano based balladry and overdramatic vocal delivery is the same schlock that they’ve been peddling since they emerged out from under some Sligo sugar bowl in 1998.

Nicky Byrne, Kian, Egan, Mark Feehily, and Shane Filan continue to ride this saccharine comet without Bryan McFadden, the founding member who wisely escaped a few years back.

Back Home opens with “Home,” a Michael Buble song that offers some hope for a merciful end to this band. “Let me go home/I’ve had my run/baby I’m done/let me go home,” they sing.

Don’t let us keep you, guys! The world will somehow carry on without this keyboard-fueled drivel.

Their songs sound like desperate prom ballads in search of a corsage and disco ball. “I’m Already There” is a classic example of their tired formula, tentative keyboard tinkling giving way to a circle jerk of emotion by each singer before a big orchestrated crescendo sells the chorus.

Their mentor is Simon Cowell, the sharp-tongued critic of American Idol. I find it shocking that he held his tongue in the midst of such formulaic, paint-by numbers statements.

“The Easy Way” is the only song that has what could be described as a dance vibe to it. It has a funky guitar looping over the lads’ heads as the band does their best Jackson Five imitation. It’s a horrible song, yet a welcome respite from the balladry all the same.

Inexplicably, the U.K. and Irish CD-buying public seems perfectly content with banal lyrics like: “Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?/Have you ever needed something so bad you can’t sleep at night?/Have you ever found the words but they don’t come out right,” (lifted from “Have You Ever”). The lads racked up yet another Top 10 hit when the CD was released last week.

For those fans of the band, Back Home will have to tide them over for a while. The band reports that they will be taking a yearlong break at the conclusion of their current tour. To keep you occupied, might I suggest some Justin Timberlake?

We here in the U.S. have happily dodged the Westlife bullet once again, as there are no tour plans this side of the Atlantic. Mercifully, the limited charms of Westlife have failed to seduce the American public, despite their lame attempts at crossover appeal.

Like vampires, they have preyed on the bodies of Mariah Carey, Donny Osmond, Donna Summer and Lionel Richie as they attempt to suck their star power in the clever guise of a duet. Despite this, Westlife have not managed to truly break our market.

Their debut single, “Swear it Again” was released in the U.S. in 2000 and was a moderate Top 20 hit on mainstream radio. Their hit song “Flying Without Wings” peaked at number 10 here when American Idol winner Ruben Studdard released it after winning season two of the show.

Like foot and mouth disease, it would seem as though the Atlantic Ocean provides sufficient control of unwanted infections like Westlife.

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