Monumental follies
Malcolm Rogers visits the follies of Ireland, stays in Glenarm and
learns how to read a map in Wales.
 By
Malcolm Rogers
Passion, romance, revenge and retribution. No, not a major motion picture
starring Mel Gibson, but Belvedere House, hard by Mullingar in Co. Westmeath.
Lough Ennell boasts Ireland’s best known folly, the Jealous Wall.
This 180-foot, three-storey sham ruin was built in a fit of pique in 1760
by Lord Belfield. A sham ruin. Yes, you may be thinking, why on earth
— like Ireland doesn’t have enough genuine ruins already.
But there was logic in the Lord’s thinking, according to local legend.
The colossal Gothic whimsy was built to block out the view of a magnificent
new residence belonging to the Lord’s younger — and heartily
detested — brother.
Belvedere House, three miles south of Mullingar on the N52, is today equipped
with (of course) a visitors’ centre, café and souvenir shop.
Despite that, it’s a cracking day out, because the place is coming
down with follies. The most striking one — apart from the Jealous
Wall — is the Gothic Arch, which dates from the same time. No story
this time, just the brooding presence of this grotesque, lichen-encrusted
structure which glowers mournfully across the lough.
The place has even been immortalised in verse by Sir John Betjemen:
“Oh gay lapped the waves on the shores of Lough Ennell
And sweet smelt the breeze amid the garlic and fennel
But sweeter and gayer than either of these
Were the songs of the birds in Lord Belvedere’s trees.”
Follies do tend to travel in groups. Or stand in clusters, might be a
better way of putting it. And there are plenty of them in Ireland.
Not far from Belvedere in Westmeath lies Tullynally Castle, Castlepollard,
with its limestone grotto by the lake plus several recently-built follies
including a Chinese pagoda. Now pagodas aren’t that uncommon in
Ireland, but pyramids are.
The only substantial one lies in the grounds of the Church of Ireland
Church in Kinnitty. Okay, it’s not the Great Pyramid of Egypt but
stunning enough. Put it firmly on your itinerary next time you’re
travelling through the Irish Midlands — the whole area is worthy
of a visit.
By the way the dictionary definition of a folly is: “An ornamental
building, usually a tower or mock ornamental ruin” although architectural
historian Stuart Barton’s description of them as “foolish
monuments to greatness and great monuments to foolishness” isn’t
far off the mark.
Ireland is rich in follies: Bogus ruins, Gothic outrages, geometrical
curios, bridges, obelisks, pyramids, hermitages, sentry boxes, grottos,
barbicans and gateways. The place is littered with them. And one of the
few places you can see an example of just about every one is at Tollymore
Forest Park in Co. Down, once the private estate of the Earl of Clanbrassil.
Along the river Shimna you’ll find incredible bridges, statues and
monuments that seem to be straight out of the Tales of Narnia. Funny you
should think that, because CS Lewis who wrote the Chronicles regularly
walked amongst these follies. You can even see a stone fountain in the
shape of a lion’s head — locally called Aslan.
So far no-one has gained literary inspiration from the Swiss Cottage in
Cahir. This is an example of a ‘cottage orne’, built in the
early 19th century. The Cahir cottage was built by Richard Butler, Earl
of Glengall, who would lavishly entertain in the over-the-top surroundings.
An earlier collection of follies devoted to entertainment which are of
some practical use can be found at Larchill, Co. Kildare. This ornamental
farm dating from the 18th century allowed livestock to be viewed in picturesque,
Gothic surroundings.
Meanwhile on the man-made lake a Greek temple with a small fortress (called
Gibraltar) fully equipped with battlements and turrets makes you wonder
if perhaps the owners were saving up to have more money than sense. Or
perhaps had already arrived at that enviable point.
A folly, according to the Architectural Heritage website (www.heritage.co.uk)
is fairly easy to define: “If a building makes you stop, and scratch
your head and ask yourself ‘Why?’ then unless it is a seat
of government there is a good chance it is a folly.”
One of the best known follies in Dublin is the Casino at Marino. And yes,
even the name is a bit suspicious because you might think you’ll
get a game of roulette in the premises. You won’t, of course. The
name Casino Marino is derived from Italian which literally translates
to “The small house by the small sea” and there’s not
a croupier in sight. So even the name is a bit of a folly. The Casino
was designed by the first Earl of Charlemont, starting in the late 1750s
and finishing around 1775. This perfect example of Neo-Classical architecture
— Ireland’s finest in that style — was used as a garden
pavilion situated in the gardens of Marino House.
In the south west of the country, Glin Castle, originally a Georgian manor
built in 1780, fit the definition very nicely. It became the subject of
Gothic Romanticisation in 1820 when the folly work was begun. Battlements,
a hermitage, gingerbread lodges and ludicrous arches make this a glorious
monument to foolishness.
Up North you may have had enough of follies and decide to visit a building
with real purpose — something like the Bushmills Distillery, in
the charming old town of Bushmills, Co. Antrim. After your visit to the
distillery get your chauffeur to turn left immediately on leaving the
premises and drive along the B66 towards Derrykeighan. About three miles
up the road look out for the Traill monument, built circa 1833. This set
of stones will appear to swell and contract before your very eyes. No,
it’s not the drink. It is due to an obscure law of physics —
the one which deals with the human eye simplifying differing orientations
resulting in this strange optical illusion.
No illusions in Hillsborough, Co. Down, the seat of Unionist power in
the North, where the representative of the British Queen resides. In days
gone by it was a governor, now it’s the Northern Secretary. Peter
Hain doubtless finds the magnificent 18th century Hillsborough Castle
to his liking. Aside from the pastoral view and extensive gardens, the
demesne comes with, according to the guide-book, its own attached ‘ruined
folly’. This presumably alludes to the Victorian gazebo you can
see through the wrought iron gates, and not British Government policy
in the North.
 Charmed
by disarming Glenarm
The Mull of Kintyre rises just a dozen miles away across the Irish Sea.
Inland the nine Glens of Antrim snake their way up to the Antrim Plateau.
The causeway Coastal Road, recently adjudged one of the top 10 most scenic
routes in the world, clings perilously to the limestone and basalt outcrops
on the north-east coast of Ireland.
The road winds through postcard-grade villages and glens with names that
read like a poem: Cushendun, Cushendall, Glenballyeamon, Carnlough, Waterfoot.
Past St. MacNisi’s School — the Jesuits’ Harrow of the
North — and finally into Glenarm, our destination, at the foot of
the southerly most of the glens.
William Thackeray’s Irish Sketchbook, which I brought with me,
says on the subject: “The Antrim Coast Road, besides being one of
the most noble and gallant works of art that is to be seen, is likewise
a route highly picturesque and romantic... leading to castles and abbey
ruins in the vicinity of Glenarm. And the little place looked so comfortable,
as we abruptly came upon it, round a rock, that I was glad to have an
excuse for staying, and felt an extreme curiosity with regard to the abbey
and the castle... so extremely old that the whole forms a grand imposing-looking
baronial edifice, towering above the little town which it seems to protect.”
Well if it’s good enough for William Makepeace, it’s good
enough for us.
Today the village of Glenarm looks as comfortable as Thackeray’s
vision, as peaceable as any Kerry village or Co. Clare hamlet, tucked
snugly into the green glen. Only a heavily-fortified PSNI station —
the old RUC barracks — reminds you that in the past these bucolic
surroundings were witness to very dark deeds.
It’s all tranquil now — and an ideal place for a weekend
break. Oh, and those dark forbidding walls just opposite the harbour,
well that’s Glenarm Castle. And that’s where we’ll be
staying.
First we drive up the main thoroughfare of the town, Toberwine Street,
get our bearings and then head for the romantic-looking turreted building.
Then it’s across the drawbridge, through the Hammer Horror gates
which swing open to admit us and into a courtyard surrounded by battlements,
look-out tower and flagpole. This isn’t going to be any ordinary
bed and breakfast weekend.
The Barbican of Glenarm Castle is now a self-catering weekend hideaway,
sponsored by the Landmark Trust, shielded from the restless Irish Sea
by crenellated walls and tall pines.
Inside our accommodation a spiral staircase leads up to a modern, well-equipped
kitchen/living room. On the floor below are our sleeping quarters with
— au naturel — a four poster bed.
You would be hard put to find a more romantic setting in all these islands.
The barbican is a quirky, Gothic miniature fortress — although our
special knowledge of Northern affairs might tell us that, fairytale though
it may look, the real story is somewhat different. Because, from its original
building in 1242 right through to the 20th century, the castle has regularly
been used for its original purpose, that is to say, military.
Unfortunately the main body of Glenarm Castle was badly damaged in 1929
by a blaze started, so it is claimed, by the housekeeper who kept a fire
going constantly by her bedside. This was to warm her featherless parrot.
Today the castle is restored and the barbican where we will be staying
has been thoroughly modernised with central heating, showers etc. The
turret staircase has been totally renovated and leads to a flat roof from
where there are striking views of the village, the harbour and on out
to the Irish Sea.
The estate on which the castle is set comprises an 800-acre nature reserve
which spreads upwards through the glen. A court cairn and several other
Neolithic graves indicates that people have been living in these parts
for the last 6,000 years or so.
We will probably take the same path as our Stone Age forebears and make
our way up the glen, through over-hanging oak trees towards the open moorland
of the Antrim Plateau.
Probably after tea though.
Details: Sleeps two, one double bedroom, one bathroom, gas central heating,
wood burning stove, on-site parking.
Local attractions: Glenarm Forest Park, Antrim Coast, Giant’s Causeway,
Bushmills, the Glens of Antrim.
For further information visit: www.causewaycoastandglens.com
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